Monday, April 15, 2013


“Hey Dude- Look – I got to go back to the doctor in three days- he said I got a lump or a spot of some shit they want to check out.” That simple run on sentence was the first I became aware that my friend and coworker had cancer. Looking back I would have stopped what I was doing in my tracks, grabbed his hand and drug him to the doctor and demanded they do whatever tests they had right then, right dammit now. Because you see, this cancer moves fast, and hard, and the difference in a few days now seems like years before. That was only 6 weeks ago – so short – but so long. In the while I have seen him endure radiation treatments, blood clots, weight loss, fatigue – and he has not even had to face the chemotherapy yet. He cannot eat – he drinks his food. He was such a wildly vibrant personality before – never able to sit still; always he fidgeted and moved, and laughed and cut up and made noise – now quiet, reserved and and often brooding. He tries to keep the positive side; his smile is still infectious and I love being around him. His enthusiasm for his career is blunted only by the invasive growth from his own body attacking itself; he wants to work at a time when it seems many others would rather not. But I cannot put him through it; his doctors cannot allow it; his body will not abide it. And his body – already rail thin and corded muscle when healthy – now wasting away; his face is thinning; his shirts that were form fitting before now billow and shimmy and hang from his shoulders. He does not mention it but I see his pants look new – and the belt it cinched tight. I can count the pounds as they have fallen off of him. What an evil little trick this cancer is. We hear all the warnings; the food and lifestyle dangers; the environmental impacts; and …. We often times do nothing. Is cancer the “Guilty” sentence for not taking care of the Body Temple? Or is it the “out-of-bounds”, the maverick roll of life’s dice, which no man can bet on because the odds change with each toss? Does every life have a set course – are Fate and Cancer bedfellows that cannot be separated? Do we even really want to know? I am not so sure I do. Really, not at all. Because heeding the warnings and answering the calls for some folks is nothing more than a healthy prelude to cancer none the less. Where is the cause and effect if Fate is so fickle? I have no idea. I have no off the hip pseudo-philosophy. I am no child and I am not in some story where I can open up a magic book or rub an enchanted lamp and wish him better. I do not cling to any of the Old religions – nor any of the new ones for that matter – I do not have any connections to a higher power to whom I would appeal. But I do have one thing: I have my friend; and I know it will not be for long. And I have to make sure that while I do not mourn him before he is gone, I do recognize that every moment I get to spend with him could simply be the last good day he has. And that makes me feel guilty. Guilty for admitting he will die. Guilty for being healthier – if not healthy, but not the one who is sick. Guilty for going home and knowing that I do not have a mass of rebel cells in my body intent of growing at the cost of whatever organ they feed upon. Guilty – because I am not the one who is dying – and while I see how sick he is getting, he sees me – not sick.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The HP's 2012 Concession Speech - and Message of Things To Come

My Fellow Americans – It has this day been shown that the American Peoples, when they are faced with a tough decision will make tough choices. And we have with that greatest of privileges been allowed to cast our singular voices in a chorus of unity in electing for the next 4 years a president by ballot. Like 2000 this one seems to shaping up to be a good old fashioned fucking over of the people one way or the other. It was an honor to be considered by many of you for your choice of Supreme Overlor—umm. President and I deeply moved by the support of those whose ballots were cast with hope for a less oppressive Iron fist of rule that I would have implemented. It is with the realization that maybe our campaign got started too late and was way underfunded, that I must now take the mantle of responsibility from my own shoulders and transforms it into the blanket of blame and try and find someone to pin this loss upon. Had I had a campaign manager, I would here and now publicly embarrass the shit out of him or her, and make their name a name associated with the futile efforts of poorly conducted campaigning. As it is I have no such person, and the idea of such failure being of my own doing be exponentially impossible, we will look elsewhere. I hereby offer my concession of defeat, issued with prejudice; I do intend to ask for a recount in the key battle ground states of Ohio and Arizona, where despite all statements that I did not receive votes there I know for a fact that someone somewhere had to have been touched by our message of hope and patriotism. Do not cry for me Augusta – I know the redneck populist vote of Georgia rang strong with The HP, and that you too deserve to have a voice in this election. From the flooded streets of Manhattan to the empty seats at Duke University Football games; from the sweaty backrooms in Vegas where cheaters get fingers cut off to the long lines of stoners buying “medical weed” in Portland; from the Animal Hospital in Little China to the Egg Roll shop next Door ran by the son of the vet – The HP has heard you – and wants to give you one more opportunity to show your adoration and elect The HP Supreme Overlo – err.. President. That is why today I am announcing not only my 2016 Presidential Bid, but I am also here to inform you of the creation of my own political party – The Panties Provide Prosperity Party – or the PPPP for short. SOme politicians like to tease and promise that they will "Show you the way" without oulining thier plans. So Here, on the Election night of my grave defeat, I will go ahead and tell you the first step in our 2016 Economic Recovery and Stimulus Act - The Panties Providing Prosperity. All American wear underwear - whether you call them skivvies, panties, drawers, unmentionables - whatever. Our road to recovery is more. We waste valuable resources like water and electricity when we wash these items. Stage one - each person needs to own a minimum of 63 pairs of drawers. Now this helps the economy in several ways. 1) Merchants will sell more skivvies. 2) Cotton farmers will have to increase cotton growth, and the textile industry will have to open up some of the closed factories to meet the demand. 3) Maybe you do not want cotton - I know the lady voters like silk and satin. But these non natural products are harmful in production, so to limit the impact of their manufacture, women will only be allowed to wear thongs. There will however be a 10 pair of Granny Panty allowance for those unflattering times when a pair of butt flossers would not be optimal. So - Washing limited to once every two months - we have an immediate Environmental impact - we have folks buying products - economic stimulus... We have farmers and textiles increased - economic stimulus... We have a thong mandate - that is another tyoe of stimulus, but hey, we need that , too.. In coming months I will inform you of more tenets of our party and how you can help. In the meantime congratulations to the Winner of 2012 – and enjoy the next 4 years – because I will be taking your spot in 2016.

Election Day 2012

Election Day is finally here. Good. In all seriousness, I don't care who you vote for; rather I simply hope all who are able take part in the process. I know enough of you that when I did a quick little "silent poll" in my head, guessing who the folks in my news feed would vote for, that I can tell ya I think all my friends are pretty much a wash, half voting for one guy, half the other. Who do I want for President? The guy who will have a compassionate heart for the weak; the guy who wants to see business grow but understands the obligations business must keep with it's Labor; the guy who, when given he choice in sending mire kids to be killed and maimed takes the time to understand the gravity of the situation, and makes the right choice; the guy who is running for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. And I do not see that in either of these two candidates. And I am fine with that. For the record, I'm going to stick with my plan of writing in "The Hillbilly Philosopher". It is a small little vote, some may say being thrown away, but a protest vote none the less. I am not totally happy with the job the current President Obama has done, but at the same time find Mr. Romney so absolutely out of touch with the working class I cannot endorse him either. SO in the end, I WILL still participate, but give credence to neither. ( Also, when I die, I expect someone to remember this and make sure my Obituary includes the phrase " Former Presidential Candidate" - thank you ) The real election that I am concern most of all is the office of Lt. Governor here in NC. The Governor's race is a non-starter - Mr. McCrory is way ahead and been running for 2 years - Mr Dalton did not even think he would be allowed to run until Governor Perdue's announcement just back in January of this year. McCrory will win, and there is nothing to stop that. But Dan Forrest running for Lt. Governor scares me - I do not like what I have seen there, and the idea of him setting up a future Governor's bid is enough to make me hope that Mrs. Linda Coleman wins that race today. In the end I do not much know how little or how much a difference any of those listed above really make as individuals - hence the need for party systems - We love to blame the leaders for all the ills of society, but it is you and me, society ourselves - that allows the ills to grow and fester. We live in a society where we all swear allegiance to the principles of fairly and duly elected, then as soon as our guy loses act like it was some great travesty and misapplied social experiment that got our guy defeated. All in all, I want folks to get out, do your thing, vote your heart , mind, wallet, Pastor's recommendation - whatever - just vote. Then own up that you were a part of it - good or bad - and then instead of crowing like a rooster or braying like an ass about the results come tomorrow morning - instead try to find someone on the opposite side, sit down with a beer or a cup of coffee and ask "How can we fix this thing?" If you do that, you will have shown more leadership than any of the folks whose names you see on the ballot today.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

NO, I am not dead

Things sure have been quiet here of late, no?

Well - the reason is simple - out IRL The HP got a new gig.

Same Dance steps, different music.

So now, after three weeks, I have decided to do a "Pros and Cons" of the new job.


PRO: I really like my new boss.
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: Krispey Kreme is on my way to work , for all my breakfast needs.
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: I came in and took the helm of a crew of Professional DFrivers who seem to have a good reputation and know what they are doing.
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: Since the new company is about the size of the divison I was in in the old company, I do not feel too overwhelmed with the new responsibilities.
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: 65 degree afternoon? Let's take the route through Hillsborough Street and do alittle girl watching between point A and point B
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO : 20 Ounce Mt Dew bottles in the vending machine for $1
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: I need to hire 6 more people, so I am part of someting that is creating jobs
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: The place I am at now is full of diverse people, with high skills and varied backgrounds
CON: Raleigh Traffic
PRO: I love the way the new job encourages employees to learn, grow and propser
CON: Raleigh Traffic

And that, after three weeks is my impression so far.

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Miracle Happened There

Let me tell you a story. One you may have heard before, but bears retelling none the less..

It is a story of Oppressing Armies, rebels, determination, the will to survive and perseverance.

Once upon a time there were some people who lived in a tight little community; they lived together, they worked together, and they all shared a belief passed to them through blood and through teaching.

They had a massive Temple , built for them with instructions of their God as passed through man.

It was a hard time in the world, and though they tried to simply hold on to what they had, they were overrun. Their temple was seized, and it was converted to the worship of the conqueror's God. This upset the local people, and though they wanted to fight and regain it, many felt the chance for reprisals too strong; the penalty for insurrection to harsh; in time the army made it punishable by death to even cling to the old religion.

Slowly, a small band of resistance fighters did emerge however - and the invading army gathered up the leaders of the community and told them " Worship our God!" and " Here, dine upon this swine" - both of which were strictly forbidden by their faith. One man, Matthias, was one of the high priests and he refused. It angered the invading army, and when a local villager said " I will do it for him" it angered Matthias so much that he drew a sword and slew him. Matthias then killed the man who had made the demands, and Matthias's sons and others from the village were emboldened enough to kill the remaining squadron of the invading soldiers.

They took to the hills, where others with the same desire to regain what they had lost banned with them. At some point they became known as Hasmoneans, or more commonly as "Maccabees".

The Maccabees were fierce fighters; they had both the will of their God with them, and a desire to see things set back as they had been. Matthias the Maccabee did not live to see it; most of his son's did including Judah, whose fierce fighting earned him the name "Judah the Hammer".They recaptured their sacred Temple, but it had been defiled with the worship of a false God as well as the sacrificing of swine. It was not fit for the service of their God, and needed to be purified and rededicated. To do so would require the burning of sacred oil, for eight days. They searched and searched the Temple, and were dismayed to find only enough oil for one day - one lonely day when eight were needed to prepare more. But with faith and determination they lit the Menorah with it's one day of oil, and it burned for 8 nights.

It was a miracle that happened there.

I love this little story - it speaks to parts of me I cannot explain - the firm determination of the Maccabees ; their faith that they could , would, and did see the retaking of that which was theirs; and the simple yet miraculous event that surrounded the one day's oil burning for 8 nights.

One thing I never understood growing up, in a Christian household - was why we did not celebrate Hanukkah too - we heard the tale each year in church, and these Maccabees were the Jews who from whom our Faith soon grew - to not celebrate such an amazing event baffled me.

Now, older, I have no field of religion upon which I pitch my tent; but so far as stories of hope, determination, faith and reward go, the story of Matthias and the Maccabees is one of the few that finds resonance in my bones.

Happy Hanukkah my friends, and remember - A miracle happened there...

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Iraq : War is Over

In a moment of rare seriousness I want to say : I am overjoyed at the end of military action in Iraq. Too many dead among the military on both sides; way to many dead among the civilian population of Iraq , numbering so high as to equal the Rwandan genocidal killing fields ; we saw the worst of ourselves at Abu Ghraib; we went on lies; we shattered and forever mangled the minds and bodies of young men who were told they were "Doing the right thing" and quickly learned they were not but had no choice but to follow orders; billions and billions of wasted dollars on a war that served no purpose.

But none of that is what brings me the most joy. What brings me joy is that this evening, for the first time in their memory, I can put my children to sleep knowing that one war has ended.

Now, let's get the boys and girls out of Afghanistan, and let our small ones go to bed knowing that we have no war at all.

Please remember today those who have lost their sons; their daughters. Look the young men with mangled legs and arms and plates in their skulls in their eyes and blame them not for the war; they were but part of the machine, not the ones who invented it; and take a moment today to reflect, or pray, or meditate about how awesome that ideal is , that ideal of peace; that ideal of not running off rattling sabers and firing muskets; and then take a moment to remember the over 1 million dead on both sides , and ask yourself was it all worth it?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Free Market vs. Free Speech

Stop. Before you even read this - you need to do your homework. Unless your live in a cave or under a bridge, You are probably aware of the Lowe's Home Improvement decision to pull it's advertising support from TLC's "All American Muslim" program.

And unless you just woke up from a coma, or are one of the seven people in the world without Facebook or Twitter, you have probably seen either a whirl wind of indignation, or support, or both, depending on the leanings of the folks you socialize with.

OK, now that you have done your homework, here is my thoughts.

I have in the past , when made aware of the financial support by one Corporation to a cause or charity I did not agree with, decided to "fight back with my wallet" - by boycotting / avoiding them.

A great example is of McDonald's. I learned in a Sociology class that McDonald's was a major supporter of a charity that , at the time, I did not approve of. And for 8 years I did not spend my money at a McDonald's. In the spirit of total transparency, I will admit I did eat McDonald's food - so long as someone else paid for it. I had no problem with the food you see - just with my money going to folks I would not give my money to willingly.

Let's step away for a second, but we will come back.

It is an ideal that it is my money, and thus my control is excised upon its use - but really - it is not. It is money in a cycle - I work for a corporation, and they pay me ( and the last thing I want is them to boycott me over my choice of causes ) then it is my oney for a minute and I decide how to spend it either on food or lumber or to a charity, Once I spend it - on a cheeseburger, a piece of lumber, whatever - it ceases to be my money. And if McDonald's wanted to support a scholarship program I felt unfairly supported folks at the expense of others - then well, at that point, it was their money. It is a cycle.

So Back to my personal Anti-McDonald's campaign. I grew up. I realized that their support was not racist; rather my non-support was - and I dealt with my own inner problem.

The fact is McDonald's is a huge ass corporation and it can spend its monies how it wants - and really - if it spends some to educate people, that is kinda awesome.

Now to today - Lowe's got some heat from an Ultra Conservative group and the pulled ad dollars from a show about Muslims.

DO I agree? Hell no.

Do I understand? Grudgingly.

Lowe's is a business; it can spend it's money on advertising where it wants. The point of advertising is to encourage customers to come in the door and spend more moeny; the purpose of advertising is not to prop up and support a program. That's the local charity event form of advertising - let's get a name on a poster for 3 hours!

No, fact is, someone at Lowe's had to make a decision - do we continue to spend money on ads for a second tier low exposure TV show and risk a potential public relations disaster, or do we pull it and risk a public relations disaster?

A hard choice, isn't it? The Lady or The Tiger seems like a cake walk in comparison.

In an age where Rick Perry posts a video like this, and where there are people who still think that the President Of The United States is a Muslim despite the fact he attends Christian Services and was a member of the same Christian congregation for over 20 years , such a choice would be a nightmare to discuss in a board room.

I am sure at some point, the dollars boiled down to : who can we afford to piss off the most? And a decision was made.

I will say this about Lowe's. In April of 2011 the Lowe's that is local to me was destroyed in the middle of a shopping day by a tornado. Within days , it is my understanding (from word of mouth, not from news reports) that Jimmie Johnson, NASCAR Driver sponsored by Lowe's had reached out to provide some relief to the workers of that store; ( from my personal witnessing ) the workers were spread out to other stores to work and keep their jobs, ( and from my real life career ) the old store removed and construction rushed to get it back in place.

I have friends who work there. I have shopped there for years, and since it reopened I have enjoyed shopping in the new store. They may always seem to be out of at least one item I need, but they have decent service.

I do not see myself boycotting Lowe's over this - they pretty much were painted into a corner, and had to make a hard call. But I find a big difference in boycotting a group because they FUND something you oppose, versus boycotting a company that decides to not spend their ad dollars where they decide not to.

When you step back and look, you can find a reason to pretty much boycott just about any business - Chik Fil A pops to mind as a popular target. And then you can look at all of the brouhaha surrounding the Tourism boycotts of South Carolina; the whole Boycott B.P. ruckus after the Deep water Horizon episode; Amazon; Sony, Gillette; General Electric - if you have a name, someone probably wants to boycott you.

None of these boycotts seem to go any farter than " Don't spend a few dollars with so and so - because they support/don't support such and such." And honestly, a lot of these boycotts seem more about getting attention for the ones doing the boycotting, and not to their platform or agenda.

We have , in our history, witnessed amazingly successful boycotts : The Montgomery Bus Boycott is the prototypical success and lesson to learn from. But it was successful in it's simplicity - the bus lines were confined to Montgomery, and the impact was direct. While there were several tens of buses, cabs cut rates to support the protesters and there was a myriad of other functions that fueled the overall protest - it was more than just " don't ride the bus".

Now - Lowe's had 1,749 stores in January 2011. They are spread across the United States - an organized boycott would mean be possible only if the needs of those boycotting can be filled by another provider - like the cabs for those boycotting the buses. But not every town has an alternative. But even if they did - you have to then factor in at what cost? Do yu want Lowe's to suffer to the point that people you know lose jobs? Do you wnat to see a store that an entire community rallied around to resurrect close?

I don't.

What i would like is for Lowe's to step up and say " Oops. We did not think that through - we want to renew our contract". But you know what would happen - folks who feel just as strongly that they did the correct thing would then start their boycott.

it is a never ending cycle.

Lowe's ( and Chik Fil A, and G.E. and Disney, et. al ) are not the real problem - we are.

So long as we remain so polemic that we have to make folks choose side, and make folks define every little detail, we will never be able to satisfy everyone.

So as for me, no, I will not be boycotting Lowe's. I will be using them to get the things I need. I will however, try to direct the things I want, and cannot live without, to stores that are small, and local, and support causes I agree with.

In the short run - it is the Free Market versus Free Speech, as applied by your money.

But in the long run, it's not my money after all - I'm just holding it for a minute.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Quit feeding The Copy / Paste Trolls - or - You Should Know Better

Here in the past week the "Copy and Paste" Trolls have been busy as shit on Facebook.

I can tell you, the posts that keep popping up again and again, and folks seem to endlessly report these blatant untruths.

Just a few days ago, I encountered ( for about the 100th time - clue #1 ) a post along the lines of " Do not join the group I love being a parent - it's a bunch of children raping perverts who are gonna steal your kids pictures and then hunt them down and rape the shit out of them. It has to be true - it was on Foxxy News!! Copy and paste this to all the world!!!"

Ok, here's the deal - this is false. As would be easily verified with, of I don't know - a visit to the Foxxy news website? Maybe Google? A trip to Snopes? But no - you can see this thread ( I have seen it going on for over a YEAR now mind you ) yet it always claims it was on the news just yesterday.

SO, thinking that most folks would not want o be part of 1 ) spreading an obvious lie or 2 ) maligning a real group by posting a status that is not true about it, I joking mentioned to the current offender to not feed the trolls - and included a link. what did I get? An indignant response that " I don't have time to check out everything - rather be safe than sorry!" and a deletion. Really? You would rather spread a lie about children being fucked by a group that does not do that, then take a few minutes to verify something? Just toss it out there with your name beside it as fact? Amazing.

Another one that seems to be getting a lot of traction is that old standby " In 4 days Facebook will start charging you One Million Spanish Pesetas to use it - we will not pay ! Post this to tell Facebook to fuck themselves!!" Really? You know what? I wish Facebook WOULD start charging for it's use. Look, it is hands down THE social invention of the past 25 years. I use it constantly - private chat, private messaging, sharing of photos, an almost unending database of old friends and information - and it is free? Holy fuck - whoever made that decision is a total dumbass - they are sitting on a gold mine. And if you charged - maybe some of the folks that constantly spam my wall with their dumb shit will go back to Myspace - good riddance. ( Oh - and you do know Justin Timberlake , along with some others, just bought Myspace, right? Remember that whole Google thing I told you about? Use it... )

Another one is the endless and senseless posting about Obama and the National Day of Prayer. But thankfully that one only comes around in seasons - so maybe, just maybe, next year folks will see it and go "Oh yeah, I saw this last year - and it was not true then ......"

One other thing I cannot stand are the "Invites" to "events" that make no real sense - these things are armchair activism at it's most fat-lazy-assed-ness. "Hey - I'm going to go put an orange ribbon on my wall to support the lower 4th circuit courts decision to stop frog licking"... Umm. Ok. Wow. you know who benefits from that? The makers of little orange ribbons, and that is about it. I got one concerning the kid in Florida - sure it is sad - but it had over 2 million attending - to turn on their front porch lights. For what? What a waste of electricity. Like the 12 jurors are gonna ride around the country and go " Oh fuck! We messed up - we shoulda roasted that bitch, EVEN IF WE DID THINK SHE WAS NOT GUILTY.."

And you know - sometimes folks mean well. Like I can see how, a couple of outraged folks would start a movement like that - but it gets nothing accomplished, and it ends up being a time suck when sent to folks to whom it has no application. Unlike the first two examples that are the work of Trolls who find delight in the misleading of innocent ( and too lazy to fact check ) people, the third on just lulls the user into a feeling of "accomplishment" for something that really has zero life impact. At all.

What about the original post trolls? Nah - feed them bastards. You wanna start an original thread with something abrasive, coy, or slightly inflamatory? Rock on! That leads to discussion - it's these " I'm to infantile in my thinking processess to come up with my own shit" posts that drive me nuts. And if you like that, you can copy and paste it all you want. ( Sheeple )

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The HP rings up year number 36

The HP’s “State of The HP” Annual Birthday Address
Year 36

So, last year , and the year before, on various forums, I have written some entries or notes that pretty much chronicle where I am in life on my birthday.

2011 finds me looking at 36 years in the mirror – though were they went, I do not know. Sure, there are days I feel like I am 50, but many days I feel like I just walked out of High School over at Western Harnett ( Go Eagles!).

First the numbers: As of today, on the first day toward 37, as I celebrate completing year 36, I am a little lighter in my shoes that a year ago. I am ringing the scales at 227 as of this morning. I have in the past year participated in three 5k events, and have re-joined a fitness club, though here of late my work schedule has kept me away from it ( more on this in a bit ) . I have also addressed my desire to quit smoking, trying unsuccessfully back in March of this year, but I have cut back. This is no victory, but it is a step forward.

I have, on this day , a six year old ( he shares my birthday in fact ) a ten year old, and a young man who will be sixteen in just under a week. All three are fine young men who love their Momma and Daddy, and are often referred to by others as being well behaved and good mannered; despite the way we see them at home. They are boys , so it will pass, and their at home tom-foolery is easily accepted given the fact that they all do well academically and pretty much stay out of any real trouble.

My step may have slowed a slightest bit, and my ears give me troubles ( I harbor a real fear I will lose my hearing in coming years ) , but one thing that improves for me daily is my love for my Sweetums. We are growing old, no matter how young we try to stay , but just months shy of 18 years of marriage I love her madly, deeply, wholly and purely. She is my true better half, often much more tender and caring, always trying to teach me to be a better person. I have several times written about how a partner is not your best friend; that you need to be able to have a mate and a life to live of your own, but she completes me in a way that if not magical or scientific, is cosmic and pure.

This year has seen me away from home more than any in my life – I have spent almost 3 months worth of nights in Hotel rooms in towns both boring and fun. It is all for work, and I have a great job with great folks. Sure, I bitch about work – who does not? – but I do love my job. I have a great boss, I have great coworkers, and we get the job done. I like pulling into a gas station and a stranger coming up to tell you what a great job the company did near their home or job; I may not have been on that project – but we all work together – and it is nice to be part of something good.

The economy has hit us just like everyone else – I have made some adjustments around the house, and have fine tuned the art of paying a bill at the very very very last second. We don’t go out much, if at all, but we manage too have fun. We recently went to a weekend away, and I spent more than I should have, less than I wanted to, but we had a blast. It has affected my chicken farm; this year I pretty much shuttered the whole deal except for a very few birds, and those were either presold or birds I wanted to keep for myself.

In the little bit of spare time I do have, I began this past year in learning to “home brew” – make my own beer. This has been a real fun and rewarding hobby, introducing me to new folks, getting me out of my comfort zone and into a few public social settings, and hey – it is beer. What else do you need to know – it is beer!

I managed to get two tales published this past year, in the small Literary Magazine the Red Clay Review, though I have not gotten a copy yet. This was a big deal to me. I could not have done it without the help and support of my friends, most especially Gabrielle.

I also learned a little more about myself this year – I like to fundraise. Seriously – I like to beat the bushes and ask for money to help with causes. I had a great campaign with the St. Baldric’s event in the spring, and am about to get real serious about raising money for the MS Bike Ride in Historic New Bern this coming September. ( So get out those debit cards and donate dammit! )

Lost a friend this spring; life actually does come to an end, no matter who idyllically we prattle about, living like gods and monsters in a fairy tale. The reality slams home as you stand looking into a casket at a man who you knew as a boy, who you played with, sang with, double dated with, drank beer and whisky, smoked a joint – everything you do – and then, like a puff of wind from an open sash against a candle flame it is over.

On the flip side of that , new life , babies – in the arms of friends and running around the feet of friends – babies everywhere – new life, new hope – a future.

All of these things, and many more, are what The HP lived through this year.

I would like to take a moment and thank everyone of you for reading my little ramblings, for the arguments, the comments, the fun and the support. But most of all I want to thank you for that gist that gold cannot buy and a knife cannot sever – I want to thank you for your friendship, and to wish you, each and everyone, that in the coming year until I meet the 37th head on, that we continue to laugh, love and lean upon one another, and know that if you ever need me, all you have to do is ask – I will always do what I can to help any person who is my friend.

The HP loves you all, and wishes you all a good day.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The HP 2012 - Your Choice For President

So I look at the state of affairs in our Country and I have decided that what this country needs is someone to fix it. Someone who does not give a fuck what you think, and will fucking just do the job, and tell all the cry babies to get over it and move on.

SO yeah, The HP is here to do that. I'm gonna run for President.

I do not see the point in raising a lot of money - folks will naturally gravitate to my down-home problem solving skills and earthy mentality when looking at an issue. SO I am not asking for your money.

I do not see the point in asking you for your support, as i know you are going to vote for me anyhow - that wastes my time and makes you feel awkward when responding to my plea.

So here are the first 5 planks in the platform:

1) All people need to leave other people the fuck alone. This is a multifacted platform - it means leave your pay cheak alone ( like that don't you conservatives?) It means leave your life style alone ( hello gay vote! ) It means leave your religion alone ( Muslims, Christians and everyone else, welcome to the fold ). And it means I will not , under any circumstance invade a foreign country. ( North Korea, you can start sending me some graft right about now ).

2) You don't fuck with family. And we are all family. So all you "Defend our borders" folks, thank you in advance for your vote. Because we are bringing the soldiers home to defend our land, on our soil.

3) I don't give a shit about marijuana. Seriously - don't care. You wanna toke up? Vote for me. You think it is a gateway drug and needs to be banned? Vote for me. See, I am not gonna get in your way - you can bitch and argue for my 8 years ( cause you know your gonna re-elect me ) all you want. I don't care. And for the record - yes - I did smoke, I did inhale, and you know wht? Meh - not a big thing to me. SO no, I just don't care.

4) Guns. You want'em - you can have them. Don't care if you are a non-violent felon. Don't care if you are 13. The only way you lose the right to bear arms will be to commit a crime with a gun. Then we cut off your arms. Because you lost the right to bear your arms. If, as an armless citizen, you learn to use a gun with your feet, good for you.

5) Everyone is entitles to free health care. At the same time, everyone who accesses free health care , and is not employed an thus funding it, will be required to run errands for those who cannot. Cut thier grass. Wash thier houses. Clean the gutters. Give handjobs to nursing home patients. Whatever. We all pitch in for the greater good.

As it stands, it is pretty hard to get on a ballot. Even to be a write in , in some states you have to be registered. So I have formed an exploratory committee to locate the easiest state to get upon a ballot. That one state is all we need. We can make an impact.

Also, think about it. If you are passionate about politics, I am sure you know 3 or 4 people who will vote the opposite of you - so you guys cancel each other out. Need proof? 2004. So why cancell each other out - why not make a statement. Vote a vote that says " This is all such bullshit, I'm going to give a bullshit vote."

That's me - your Bullshit Candidate.

Vote for the HP in 2012.

PS: Vice President consideration is currently open for hire. EOE Employer.