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Saturday, March 5, 2011

The HP is a mere mortal, after all - Please Read

At the age of thirteen I smoked my first cigarette, a Marlboro light - and thought - "Well, that was kinda gross".

Two years later I was casually smoking at High School - I can remember most clearly smoking Winstons in Kent Smith's old 3 series BMW riding around Angier before bacnd practice....

I was able to pickem up and putem down for a while when young - I don't think I ever had a pack that did not last me 2 days , until I graduated and went into construction work. Stanidng outdoors for hours at a time, with nothing to do but shovel and bitch, or listen to someone else bitch, smoking was a diversion. It was what all the older dudes were doing. Seriously - I cannot think of a SINGLE coworker back almost 20 years ago on my crew that did not smoke - hell, I can remember most of their brands to this day, having as the new guy being often sent to the store for smokes and snacks.

Now let's time warp a little bit. A little over a year ago I got concerned about my health, and I lost some weight. I did good too - but I stopped short of my quitting goal when it came to cigarrettes. After a hellish year last year my weight is back where it was then.

Plus I am now a two and a half a pack a day smoker.

Damn - saying it out load is shameful - but yes - two and a half packs a day.

I blame some of the increase on my driving so much and simle tactile boredom - I mean I have lit cigarrettes only to find that I already had one going in the ashtray.

The other is stress. Smoking is a hiding place in a way. If you smoke, or have , you may understnad.

But it has finally caught up with me - I have been having some intense discomfort breathing, and have no extended physical stamina. I went to a doctor, I will be honest - scared to death that I had ruined my lungs at 35.

The good news - He said my lungs were great - that despite my best efforts to destroy them , i had not- and I should be ashamed.

The bad / good / bad news - I have to quit. NOW.

SO, I am "tapering off " this week - going from 50 cigarettes to zero in one day he advised against - but I am "rationing" myself, as well as trying better living through science and chemicals.

So we will see. But if you see me around, and I am smoking, you have my permission to come over, tap me on the cheast - and say " You should be ashamed".

Here's hoping.

2 comments:

  1. Good luck Hannable. I know how hard it is, it took me 3 times to try quitting before I finally was able to and by the way I was 34 years old when I finally quit. I won't kid you, it was extremely hard, but now after all these years I really don't think there is anything in the world that would make me smoke another cigarette. I love you and wish you the best!

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  2. This is not fair coming from me(a non smoker). However, owning a cigarette shop that sells 7500 packs a week for close to 20 years, I have had endless conversations with those struggling with quitting. The most consistant success comes in a rather logical method. At 50 cigarettes a day(350 a week) you have a great place to start. On a calender write 350 all the way across this week in big numbers. Make a goal of say 315 for the next week. This means only cutting out 10% of what you smoke. Keep smoking during stress, or while drinking, and the other major factors. However, cut out a few during unneccesary times, like while driving. By cutting out situations and seeing the numbers on your calender, psychologically you are realizing the lack of neccesity, and voiding the system of major withdrawals(which will eventually lead you to start back up). Good luck, I know its hard because I hear it 100 times a day.

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