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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Snuffleuffagus my ass - that's a wooly mammoth! Original to Facebook 4/22/2010

04:30 - and I am WIDE AWAKE.

I could be doing some paper work at home.

I could go to work early, make coffee, and do some paper work there.

Instead I'm fucking off on facebook. Somehow, I think this is what makes America Great, keeps the economy going, and assures a small child in a remote fishing village of China that one day, he too, can know the freedom and responsibility of doing nothing, and being proud of it.

So here goes kiddo, pass the joint and turn up the hi-fi, it's one of those random, absolutely pointless epistles I like to drop every now and again. Same neighborhood, different houses. Groovy!


***

I carry three cell phones. They are on different networks. Sometimes I wonder how far I can throw one of them, or if I could skip it like the pager in the Corona commercial, or if I set one on fire what it would look like. This is usually when two or all three are ringing at the same time. It happens more than you would think is possible.

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I am looking forward to my Safe Rider course in May. It's a 24 hour ( over 3 days ) class that is pretty much for the beginner and returning motorcyclist. At this point, it's gonna be kinda like a fantasy camp for me, but I am still super excited. I hope the weather is great, and that we get lots of seat time.

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Last week I saw not just one but two Lamborghinis. One was on Morgan street in Raleighwood, and the other in Sanfordville of all places. Add to the mix the late 90's Ferrari I saw in Sanfordtown the week prior, and I can only think that either the economy is getting better, or we are finally getting a better class of drug dealer. Either way, both are good signs for all.

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I totally have forgotten my manners. Will and Crystal Butler hooked me up the other day with something for the chicken ranch and I forgot to say thanks after all the dust settled. So hey guys - Will- Thanks Man! Crystal - Thank you too!

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What if you were an identity thief, and you stole an identity worse than the one you already had? Like if you were a small time con man, and you fucked up and stole the identity of a mafia hit man? That would be so funny.

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Reference the latest Copy / Paste Craze, the one calling for "GOD" to "take my favorite president". All I can say is wow. You are calling on your Supreme Being, Creator and Builder of all things - to take a life - or at the least you are making a joke that equates to the same. I think that is pretty warped. Hey, Hey, I know - I called for ( and still do ) George W. to be arraigned on War Crimes and International Terrorist charges - but I never asked Buddha to put a cap in his ass.

***

I sing the song "Sundowner" when I drive past nursing homes. Really, sometimes I do.

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Look - a butterfly!

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I wish I could teach a course at the community college, even if only for like 2 years. I would entitle it " Assholic Studies - The Art of being right all the time"

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I will be legally old enough to run for president this year. I have no felonies that I have been convicted of, and I was born in this country. Maybe I should get together an online petition, just to see if I could get enough signatures to get on the ballot in at least one state. That would be something cool to put in my obituary one day." He was a car salesman, a construction worker, a middle manager, and ran for President of the united States - all before he managed to get himself shot in an argument over Miracle Whip versus Dukes Mayonnaise. " Yeah - that shit would be cool.

***

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT PUTTING MYSELF IN THE SAME LEAGUE AS THE FOLLOWING WRITERS. JUST MAKING A POINT:

Sometimes I wonder if the Internet and blogs are killing any potential we as humanity have left to produce great writers. Any jackass like myself can get logged in somewhere , get the venom of words excised from their minds, and move on.

What if Vonnegut could have done that? Perhaps Steinbeck? What if the Internet had been around when Shakespeare ( or the 24 guys who he takes the credit for ) had been rolling out plays and sonnets?

See, I think the writer writes because he / she HAS to - has to get the poison out. And once done, can move on. But in this age it is so easy to get out the poison, that craft may be suffering.

What a shame if "Catcher in The Rye" had been a serialized blog post, read by only a circle of friends and net heads.

I wonder.

***

On the topic of writing, TH SUMMIT was a fun little deal - I'll not recap the story, but basically it was a writing project that grew organically among a group of friends. I did not intend to start it - it just grew from a short, one of piece I wrote based on a photo. Then it grew. And grew. And by the time was had 15 or 20 chapters, we knew we had a little something special going on. We got to know each other better. We shared fantasy warfare, wrote good and not so good dialogue - we had a fun time. It simmered down, and I pulled the plug on it with an ending I hoped had the proper twist at them end, without hurting the integrity of the story line.

Now we plan to embark on another one - this time a super hero story. I'm both excited and a little skeptical to be honest. The other was so natural and flowing, I hope that this one can go the same way. I don't want to "force" the story - and to be honest I do not think I have ever tried to write a single damn paragraph of super hero or magical fantasy before. I did try some science fiction only to read it later and almost cry at it's pathetic quality. I'm counting on the other guys to make the super hero part work. For the most part, as the Villain, I'm just gonna destroy shit and have plenty of one liners.

***

One last writing thought - I still need someone to read / critique / edit my NANOWRIMO novel. If you got a little time , or want to be the first person in the whole wide world to read it, and offer your opinions and insights - I'd be honored. I'd also be appreciative, as this will be a labor of friendship and love since I cannot afford to pay you anything. Maybe some eggs - I could give you some eggs.

***

Well, that is enough for now.

Your Mission for today:
Go to work. Be productive. Come home. Be Reproductive!

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